Who decided that life had to be so hard? Who decided that life isn't fair? Who decided that terrible things happen to amazing people? Oh, yeah, that's right, God.
I don't know why You do things things, God. I have no idea. And I never will. All I know is that you have a plan. And that I have to trust in it. You make all things work together for MY good. You know what is going on and You always have control. I just wish it wasn't so freaking hard to see the good in my life. The good is completely hidden underneath the bad. And I feel like i try SO hard to see the good in my life and people. But I can't. I can't accept Your plan no matter how much I want to. I have so much trouble accepting who I am in You. I take everything in my life for granted but that's because I don't know any different. And I don't want to be one of those people that learns the hard way that she had a good life. That she had an amazing family and fantastic friends but I'm at a complete loss of what to do. I know I need You. But it's the desire to chase after You just like You're desperately chasing after me right now. I know You won't give up, and that's part of the problem. I know You'll always want me. There isn't anything I could possibly do to make You love me less, want me less, or not want me to come sprinting to You. (Ahhh the sweet release of the tears, finally) All I've ever known is that You want me. Regardless of my past or anything else. You just want me, whole-heartily. And maybe, just maybe, if I did love You the way You love me; unconditionally, life wouldn't be so hard, maybe a little more fair, and maybe I'd start to see the good....
to be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment